The Quarter Life Chronicles

Hello My Name is Latoya ... And I'm an Addict

2012-01-16T11:42:00.002-05:00

If Siri was a drug, I'd be going to rehab. Seriously...

Last week, I finally succumbed to the iPhone frenzy. And there is no looking back. In one week, I've tweeted, instagramed, pintereted, and more. I even use the notes and to do list feature to organize my life. Siri where have you been all my life.

For the most part, I'm fine. But Pinterest, I really wish I had you when I was planning my wedding! I was saving images in a wedding file organized by folders. Now I'm planning my daughter's first birthday party, my sister's graduation party, my 30th birthday, and decorating a nursery with ease thanks to Pinterest. I should have joined this bandwagon a long time ago!

Check me out on Pinterest, to see what I've been up to @latoya24.

Source: karosfunland.blogspot.com via Latoya on Pinterest

Yo Gabba Gabba Dancey Dance Party!

Source: thesmallthingsblog.com via Latoya on Pinterest

I want to take better care of my nails. They "polish" a look, don't they?

Source: thenester.com via Latoya on Pinterest

A little too fancy, but cute.

I have absolutely no idea what to do for my 30th birthday. I don't want anything too extravagant. Any suggestions?

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Braidout on instagram

2012-01-09T14:19:00.001-05:00

All good things must come to an end

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Don't worry. My natural hair journey has not ended. I simply straightened my hair for Christmas.

For the last two years this blog has been my baby. It has seen me through my first home purchase, my wedding, my first pregnancy, and the birth of my first child. It has opened doors of opportunity, empowered me to have an entrepreneurial spirit, and introduced me to many bloggers and readers.

So as you can imagine it has pained me to realize that I had to give up my baby. I wavered back and forth and finally had to make the painful decision. This is not my last post, but things will be winding down around here pretty soon. (Don't worry I will give you advanced notice.) From now on, I'm switching to weekly posts scheduled for Monday mornings. Manageable, right?

My more manageable approach is to utilize microblogging via various avenues of social media. And since I now have an iPhone, I plan on being a social media maven. (Ok, not really. But you get the point.)

Find me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter @toyachronicles
Formspring me
Follow me on Instagram @latoya724

If you are looking for hair posts, you can find me at the Delaware Naturalistas' blog and our social media channels.

Find us on the web at http://denaturalistas.com
Follow the blog at http://denaturalistas.blogspot.com
DeN Facebook
DeN Twitter

And don't worry. The blog will stay up for reference. But in the meantime, stay tuned for my weekly posts.

If what you're doing isn't working...

2012-01-02T11:01:00.001-05:00

...then do something different.

-My anytime resolution

RiRi's anytime resolution is to crawl AND walk. She is FINALLY consistently crawling forward. (It's part lunging, army crawling, crawling, and rolling. She's HYPERactive.) Above, is her first day in her walker. Today, she stood up by herself. Held on with one hand, playing, chilling. We took the lock off the wheels and she cautiously walked. Well... pushed...then took two cautious steps. Then pushed...then took two cautious steps. Go 'head baby girl!

I've NEVER been a fan of New Year's Resolutions. People say they will lose weight. Flock to the gym. By February, the gym is empty again. It's basically bandwagon behavior. If you're going to make a change, make a change because of an aha moment or some self-reflection.... not because it is the thing to do. Otherwise, the change won't stick.

My main focus right now, is to figure out what is NOT working in my life and make a CHANGE. Whether it is a tweak or an overhaul....

That's it. Of course, there are items on my to do list. But they've been there long BEFORE the New Year. And I'm checking them off as I go. Check. Check.

Check.

What is your anytime resolution?

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Maternity Clothes Haul

2011-12-19T12:50:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, while doing my last minute Christmas shopping, I learned that my local Gap Kids will no longer sell maternity clothes. So, of course, it sent me into a frenzy. I stocked up on some basic items. Gap Maternity, is the only brand of maternity clothes I actually like. (Other than ASOS online and maybe Old Navy.)

I got about four tees (white, black, royal, and tan) and three dresses. I had to replace my white and black tees previously purchased at Destination maternity. I looked in my maternity clothes bag and they were gone! I think I sent them to Goodwill since they were so ill-fitting. The last dress isn't pictured since it was final sale. But the "Star Trek" dress, as the hubby calls it, I bought in lavender and black. I really love the fit of Gap maternity dresses. They are flattering to the preggo body.

Maternity Tops by Gap
Maternity Dresses by Gap

I think I made some great, cute purchases. (I'll have to take some pics in my finds.) They were much, much cheaper than the online price listed, btw. (Remember, I'm a bargain shopper.) And you know, I'm going back with for a price adjustment since they are selling out of the clothes by the New Year....

No more maternity shopping for me though. Any additional clothing I buy, will be post- pregnancy friendly i.e. open sweaters, ponchos, etc. I just needed a few more pieces to round out my wardrobe. Nothing is worse than feeling frumpy while pregnant.

What did you buy for yourself during your holiday shopping?

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Baby Fat...

2011-12-16T12:10:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before, I am providing updates on various aspects of my life since my absence. Today, we will revisit my weight loss... now weight gain.

Remember this? [Points above] This was me back in June. Fast forward to September.. right before I got pregnant. I was down to 129 pounds --which was three pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight-- and lots of toning to go. (I was 126 pounds right before Mariah.) Today, I am 133 pounds. I gained a net of 4 pounds during my trimester. Phew! I was really worried at first, because within the first week of pregnancy, I gained 5 pounds. But I gained and lost the same 5 pounds thanks to first trimester nausea and finicky eating. (This baby is picky.)

So, obviously my new goals are not centered on weight loss. So what are they?

Gain a healthy 25-35 pounds during my pregnancy
Stay active. I plan on doing prenatal yoga and pilates again. I'm also starting a dance company for dancers in Delaware looking for an affordable way to keep up their training. Interested? Send an e-mail to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com.

Words cannot express how important it is to stay active during pregnancy. No matter how tired or how much you ache, exercise will help. And trust me, the strength...particularly core strength will make your labor THAT much easier.

Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Nothing grinds my gears more than when people say I'm eating for two and try to hand me a chocolate cake. Irritates me to my core. I'm eating for two. Yes. But I'm trying to nourish our bodies. If I want to eat some cake, it's because I want to. Not because I'm using pregnancy as an excuse to pig out.
Recognize that I'm not perfect. Goals may not always be met. I might not always keep up with my workout schedule, but as long as I don't rest on my laurels... I'll be just fine.
I'm rewarding myself with a new wardrobe. I'm buying some cute clothes to get me through this pregnancy. But after I get back to my pre-pre-pregnancy size (126 pounds), I'm getting a new wardrobe. After two years of being pregnant, I deserve it don't I? I thought so. Besides, after two years, whose wardrobe wouldn't need an update?

What are your health and fitness goals for 2012?

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Me, Myself, and Lola (My Hair)

2011-12-14T06:50:00.002-05:00

Since I've been away for quite some time, my next few posts will touch upon different aspects of my life. I know. I left you hanging, right? So I'll catch you up on my post-baby weight loss (now weight gain), motherhood, baby, and more.

Today, let's reintroduce you to Lola. In case you didn't know... Lola is my hair. And she is a piece of work, I tell ya. She looks a lot different since the last time we met. She is a lot longer. She is dense. And when she tangles... boy does she tangle. Imagine hair that is past your shoulders that can shrivel up to one inch of hair. Le sigh.

For the last few months, I've been struggling with some serious pregnancy fatigue. At first, I thought it was motherhood taking it's toll... but as it subsides, I realize that it was actually pregnancy fatigue. I would literally give Mariah her 8:00 bottle and fall asleep right along with her. So, pregnancy fatigue, coupled with a growing baby who always seemed to catch some new germ at day care, and whose needs change by the day....just didn't leave much time for my hair.

So, I'll admit it. I've seriously neglected my hair. I only wash my hair every two weeks. (It's officially part of my new regimen...) I opted for easy fixes involving a spray bottle, leave-in and oil. I've let my hair tangle as long as it "looked" good. And now, I need to pull out the scissors to cut out all those knots. [Insert kanye shrug]. I plan on cutting about 3/4 inch of hair, which is only about 1/4 inch more than usual. It will grow back and for the most part it's healthy so I consider myself lucky.

My biggest struggle right now is getting my hair to dry during the winter. My hair takes a very long time to dry and my breaking point was when I arrived at work on Monday and my hair was still wet in the back. To add insult to injury, it was FREEZING in my office. So, from now on, I plan on either sitting under the dryer or pulling out the hair dryer. The "no heat" naturals can go ahead and cringe. I used to straighten my hair every 1-2 months and my hair still curls back to it's original state. I'm learning that no matter what the so-called "natural hair rules" are, I have to do what works for me and my lifestyle. I have no desire to have waist length hair anyway. I have about one more year...maybe 1 1/2 years of hair growing and then I'm pulling out the scissors.

What are your hair struggles this winter?

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Has your hair routine changed post baby? and now that your pregnant again? You seem to be having amazing growth and it is very thick! -Danni (DFig)

2011-12-13T08:19:00.001-05:00

It has definitely changed. I've gotten more lazy and I neglect my hair more often. (I'm getting better now that pregnancy fatigue is over.) Somehow, it still seems to grow. I'm in serious need of a trim so I can cut out the single strand knots and ratty ends I've found. Right now, I'm struggling with detangling, getting all this hair to dry when I do a wet twist-out, and keeping it stretched. Because it's winter, I really need to get a good bonnet hair dryer that dries my hair well. Otherwise, I'm just going to have to pull out the trusty hair dryer. Yesterday, my hair was STILL wet when I went to work and it was NOT a fun experience, at all.

I'll do a full post on my hair regimen and how it fits (or doesn't) fit into motherhood. For example, I now wash my hair every two weeks.

Ask me anything

While I've Been Away...

2011-12-09T14:07:00.001-05:00

It's funny. You step away from your blog to live your life. You blink. And over a month has passed. And if you count the inconsistency, an entire fall season. But I'm back. A lot has been going on in my life and I just needed to deal. Some negative, mostly positive. All life lessons. I don't care to share all the details, because this IS my blog and I can choose to filter my life. But I will share one piece of amazing news...

Well, the number one reason I've been gone is because I've been exhausted. And the number one reason I'm exhausted is because I'm three months pregnant! Ecstatic! Next month, we find out the sex and get the full anatomy scan. January can't come fast enough.

For now, I'll leave you with some pictures...

Our most recent deNaturalistas event, "An Evening of Bliss" on Saturday, November 19. We had over 60 attendees!

Thanksgiving with the distracted 7 month old. (They grow so fast)

RiRi... who is clearly too big for her bouncer. She needs to give it up to her lil bro or sis.

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Mixology 102: The Remix

2011-12-09T13:00:00.001-05:00

It has been one heck of a week and I know this doesn't count as my return post, but I wanted to let you know about our Delaware Naturalistas event tomorrow, Saturday, December 10, 2011. If you are in the Delaware area, please consider attending. It will be a fun and informative event.

Mixology 102: The Remix class being held at the Newark Natural Food Co-Op off Main Street. The workshop is from 3 to 5 pm. There will be light refreshments, raffle door prizes, networking and demonstration on how to make henna, bentonite clay treatment, apple cider vinegar rinse, homemade avocado deep conditoner, flaxseed gel, homemade spritz, daily moisturizer and a brown sugar scalp scrub. All attendees will receive a discount to shop at the Newark Natural Food Store for that day, a sample of Monoi de Tahiti Oil and make their very own 2 oz container of brown sugar scalp scrub that can be used as a clarifier and exfoliater for your face. Get your ticket today at www.denaturalistasremix102.eventbrite.com. Knowledge is priceless, but we're only asking $10.00.

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Guest Post: Protective Style Options

2011-12-05T12:06:00.006-05:00

As promised, the posts will return this week after a long hiatus. I am currently uploading pics to my computer to prepare for my post. In the meantime, please check out this guest post from Dominique-Alexis of natural-hair-care-info.com. In her post, she talks about protective styling...something I need to do during the winter months.

By now I’m sure that all naturals are aware of the benefits of wearing two strand twists. They help keep moisture in your curls, they can be done on hair of all lengths, and you get a bonus style when you unravel them!

But do you know just how versatile twists can be? Here I’m going to talk about seven different ways that you can wear twists (two strand, three strand, sister, etc) besides the typical full set kind.

One: Half braided

I did this by braiding the top half of my younger sister’s twists and securing it with a purple Flexi8 hair clip. The clip is totally optional, of course. A hair elastic or hair clip would work as well.

Two: Twisted updo

There’s no right or wrong way to do this hair style. All you need is a hair clip, a banana clip, or bobby pins. Gather your twists in the back of your head and pin them in place with the hair accessory of your choice. You can also leave a few twists out in the front for bangs.

Three: Flat twisted & pinned

I achieved this look by adding four flat twists on either side of my sister’s head before putting the rest of her hair in two strand twists. After that I rolled, pinned, and tucked the twists until I got a braided updo look. Super cute and great for the office!
Four: Twists & cornrows

For this hair style I added five side cornrows before twisting up the rest of her hair. If you don’t know how to cornrow yet, then you can always do some flat twists instead.

Five: Braided twists

Okay so this one is pretty self-explanatory. I simply put my sister’s twists in a Dutch braid, which is the same thing as a cornrow. I’m sure a French braid would look as nice if not better, but I haven’t yet mastered that braid so I stuck with the Dutch braid.

Six: Braided updo

I had my sister lean over her bed with her hair hanging over the edge, then I Dutch braided her twists going towards the top of her head. Lastly, I secured it with a couple of bobby pins and added a bright yellow flower.

Seven: Tied twists

This is a great hair style for the office, weddings, and as a bonus it’s super protective. Start by gathering three twists in each hand at the very top of the head and tie them like you would for the first part of tying your shoelace. Now move down a little, gather a few more twists on either side right below that knot and tie those. Keep repeating until you get to the nape of your neck and end by tucking your ends underneath.

And that’s it! There are so many different ways that you can wear twists! Who says protective hairstyles have to be boring?

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Pre-Quarter Lifer: Febeh

2011-10-27T12:27:00.001-04:00

Name: Febeh Aka Febes

Age: I am 21 years old

Occupation: I am Full time college student and I work as part student assistant at my school

Hobbies: Well if I'm not working out,coaching volleyball,shopping, hanging out my younger siblings, I'm usually with my best friend making lots of noise around the DMV area

Tell us about yourself: I'm was born and raised in Cameroon. I am a biology pre-medicine major with graduation right around the corner, December 2012 to be exact.

What has defined your quarter life experience?I wouldn't call myself a quarter lifer just yet maybe a, Pre Quarter Lifer. After Losing 50 pounds in 7 months and as well as preparing for my winter graduation from college . I've learned discipline and balance because in order to workout and still keep my grades up i have to manage my time well. I now find myself looking up to my parents more now than i did when i was a teenager. Their advice no longer enters one ear exits out the other.

What are your dreams/goals?My current goal is to lose another 50 more pounds by May 2012 .
My dream in life is to be a Sports Physician in the NFL, big dreams but i have an even Bigger GOD.

Any advice for other quarter lifers? What an elder sees sitting down you can't see standing up. Advice is not something to take offense to, use it to your advantage and grow.

Is there a blog/webpage where we can find you? Yes i am a blogger. Check me out at http://smallwaistandbighairdreams.blogspot.com/

Would you like to be featured on The Quarter Life Chronicles? Please send your feature with picture(s) to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com.

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Making A Way

2011-10-24T12:32:00.000-04:00

My loves...

2011 has been a whirlwind of a year... to say the least. And along the way, I forgot to acknowledge some major milestones this year. On July 24th, I turned 29. (Only one more year till 30!) September 26th was my wedding anniversary! October 16th was my naturalversary. And on October 20th, Mariah turned 6 months. My, how time flies!

With the big 3-0 on the horizon, I thought a lot about goals for my last year in my 20s. I considered a 30 before 30 list... but I couldn't think of 30 things to do. I didn't want to just make some random, meaningless list. And as I thought about it some more, I told myself that I would "Make A Way..." That simple. Too often, we complain. We make excuses. We settle. And as I approach 30, I want to "make a way" whenever an obstacle or challenge arises. And if there is a dream I want to pursue. I'll pursue it. That simple.

How will you make a way?

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Only The STYLE Survive

2011-10-12T12:29:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago, I was invited to Only the STYLE Survive. Stylish events don't happen often in Delaware so I checked it out. Unfortunately, I missed the fashion show. (Sad face.) I was running around all day getting ready for Mariah's baptism the following day. I had never met Leslie, the blogger and organizer of the event, but coincidentally, I met her in the mall that day!

Thank you Nadette (one of the Godmommies) for the pics!

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Gone Till October...

2011-10-03T12:46:00.003-04:00

(I know. The song is actually "Gone Till November". Close enough, right?)

September was a very busy month. In fact, the last few months have been very busy for me as well. But September was exceptionally busy. I was in my cousin's wedding. My students had their annual retreat. Mariah was baptized. I attended Only The Style Survive with Nadette. (Review coming soon. Nadette was my photographer and she just moved. Her September was hectic too.) And last week was "A Natural Hair Love Affair." Whew!

So with no further ado, I present my life in pictures. September edition.

Anyone else feel like their life is too busy for words?
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In case you were wondering...

2011-09-26T06:34:00.001-04:00

This is why I have been MIA...

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

What do you think? Do you think you will be at to our next event?!

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Misikko Hana Flat Iron Review (Part 2)

2011-09-22T18:54:00.002-04:00

August 2011

As promised in part 1, here is part 2 of my Hana flat iron review. I have to say that I was pretty pleased with the flat iron results. (Please note that I used a creamy leave-in to help with detangling since I was wearing wash 'n gos the week prior so my hair was a bit fluffier than usual.) To sum up the difference

between my old flat iron and the Hana Flat iron, it: (1) had a lot of movement (2) did not make me worry that my hair wouldn't revert. I'm going to have to follow up with results when I use an appropriate leave-in for straightening...but so far so good.

January 2011

February 2011

May 2011

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Misikko.com Flat Iron Review (Part 1)

2011-09-20T01:32:00.001-04:00

Recently, Brian from http://misikko.com contacted me to ask whether I would like to do a review of the Hana flat iron. For quite some time, I've wanted to replace my current flat iron. I've been researching both low end and high end flat irons, but uncertainty about whether high end flat irons were worth the money stopped me from making the plunge. I could barely contain my excitement when I found out that I could try one of these esteemed flat irons.

So that I can provide a thorough review, I am doing a two part review... just in time for straight hair weather (for those who heat straighten). I will first cover properties of a good flat iron (part 1) and then I will reveal the results (part 2).

I received the Hana Professional Flat Iron 1", which is on miskko.com's list of best flat irons as recommended by stylists and customers.

This (points above) is a closeup of the plates of my current flat iron. I've had it for about four years now. Because it is ceramic over metal plates, you can see that the ceramic is scraping away. This allows for uneven heat distribution b.k.a. singed hair. It obviously needs to be replaced.

My current flat iron is only 1" long and has a velvety fabric on it. This is not ideal for curling hair. But I made it work. Also, the dial is a bane to my existence. The heat dial list numbers in 5 point intervals. I assumed that when my flat iron was at 35, that it was 350 degrees. WRONG! When I checked the chart on the box at the store, it was actually 425 degrees.

In my search for a better flat iron, I was specifically on the search for a digital flat iron. Although the Hana flat iron has a dial, it has a cover over the dial so that you won't accidentally flick it. It utilizes flash heat, which change the heat settings quickly (with a flash as the heat changes). The heat is consistent. It also lists the actual degrees on the dial. Initially, I was disappointed by the dial...but as I used it, I didn't encounter the issues I had with the dial on my flat iron.

The Hana flat iron came in its own case plus tons of goodies. The most important accessory that was included was a flat iron case. I never thought about it before, but I probably shouldn't have thrown my flat iron under my sink without any protection against nicks and cuts.

I'm not going to totally diss my old flat iron though. In fact, it's done a pretty good job over the years. (Although it did singe my hair a couple of times.) But on sight alone, I could tell that I was in for an upgraded flat iron exprerience with the Hana flat iron.

*If you want to learn more about features to look for in a good flat iron and how I straighten my hair, check out my previous post on flat irons.

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Delaware Naturalistas Blog

2011-08-31T12:27:00.002-04:00

If you are looking for more hair posts, check out my other blog that I co-manage with Tywanda! This blog is updated daily with lots of great information about natural hair. Need more? Check out our website, attend our first meetup event (in Delaware), join our facebook group, and follow us on twitter.

We are currently building the framework for DeNaturalistas, but once it is up and running I'll be back to the regular blogging schedule. Until then, sleep is for the weary.

What projects do you currently have in the works? What hair topics would you like to be covered on the new blog?

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Rumbles and Roars

2011-08-28T14:32:00.004-04:00

What a week! First, there is an earthquake. (I swore the building was coming down on top of me.) And then Hurricane Irene rumbles and roars its way through the east coast. To top it off, Mariah decided to rumble and roar because, she is teething. And let me tell you, Hurricane Irene has nothing on Hurricane Mariah. But seriously, I'm happy that my family is ok and there is no damage to my home. I hope you and yours are safe and healthy as well.
This is a week I will never forget. It is definitely symbolic for all the earthquaking change going on in my life. Some exciting. Some nerve wracking. All a part of life...
P.S. We have a mac... in case you haven't noticed the new header and the mac pics above. Boy, my hair grew out of nowhere! I told you. I've been railroaded by change.
So how are you holding up after Hurricane Irene? What has she taught you?
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Taking Time For Yourself

2011-08-24T12:35:00.001-04:00

For today's Wisdom Wednesdays, I would like to introduce you to Tywanda of Approaching Thirtee. She and I are co-founders of DeNaturalistas, which now has a blog as well! If you are in the Delaware area, come out to "A Natural Hair Love Affair" on Saturday, September 24, 2011! Today is the last day to purchase tickets at the pre-sale price of $20. We are giving away 10 Lia Sophia necklaces to celebrate! Check out our facebook page for further details about the giveaway. But I digress.... I really need to take Tywanda's advice.

In the morning, after you’ve given some time thanking God for continuing to watch over and protect you ---- before you head to the gym, make love to the husband, cook breakfast for the kids, check your text messages and update your Facebook status. Before you hit the snooze button or turn on the TV, before you stumble into the shower or log on to that conference call --- How often, do YOU take the time for YOURSELF?

Breathe.

In my twenty-eight years of life, I’ve noticed as women, especially women of color, we tend to take care of the rest of the world by becoming its most undervalued super hero, before we ever consider taking the time out for our most valuable person --- ourselves.

So I encourage you, before you awake and decide it’s your personal responsibility to take over the world (quite often times it is) how about you take a few moments, minutes or even an hour to check on yourself. Why? Because often times we forget to do just that. We forget to feed our souls, we forget to nourish our minds, we forget to love our bodies, we forget to protect our hearts because we become too wrapped up in our responsibility to take care of the rest of the world FIRST and then … and only then … do we find the time to give ourselves a few minutes (if even that). By then, we’re burnt out, irritable, exhausted, stretched too thin and empty. This often leads to some sort of breakdown, argument or explosion of emotions from where we can no longer keep everything imploding inside of us and it boils out publically.

My thought is … why not find a way to stabilize the responsibilities of life and our NEED to love ourselves FIRST and BEFORE the breakdown occurs? So what “zens” you out? For me it’s writing, dancing, singing or random hotel stays away from everything else. For you it might be reading a good book, an awesome prayer, painting, working out or shopping (just don’t go overboard!). Whatever it is, begin to tap into that passion or hobby that is special and personal to you and incorporate it into your daily or weekly routine as a way to vow to yourself that you will no longer forget to love and take care of you FIRST.

Last November, I attended the 2010 Essence Women’s Empowerment Conference with my best friend and we were listening to Lisa Nichols, a motivational speaker. She said something very simple yet profound. She said that as women, we need to begin to “serve people from our saucer.” She then poured a pitcher of water into a cup until it filled to its brim and overflowed onto the saucer. She explained that often times we serve people from our cup and we are often left empty, incomplete and lacking. By doing that we are doing a disservice to ourselves. We need to make sure our personal cup is ALWAYS full first and then from our excess, our overflow, our more-than-enough is the only place that we allow people to pull on us from. If you don’t guard you cup, it will soon be completely empty and then everyone (family, friends, associates) including you won’t be able to utilize your talents.

For me? I’m learning to say NO. I’m learning to assess my value and the ability to communicate my need for personal time. I’m learning to incorporate it into my daily routine. Learn to listen to your body, it will truly tell you what it needs. I challenge you to do the same, keep the essence of who you are, your spirit, your soul, your Mecca FULL by personally checking in with yourself and identifying the areas that need to be nourished and feed them. Only once you’re fully (figuratively speaking) should you give cautiously to others.

Lots of Love,

Tywanda L. Howie

www.tywanda.com

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How easy was it to bond with your newborn?

2011-08-18T09:21:00.001-04:00

I loved her the minute I could start feeling her move inside of me. When they laid her on my chest when she was first born, she held on to my gown when they tried to take her away to clean her up...I fell deeper in love. I will admit the first 8 weeks were rough. But with support, time, and as you figure each other out... it gets easier.

What is most amazing is that I get to experience life through her eyes. It really makes you sit back and appreciate life...especially the little things. Who knew a smile could brighten up a day so much? Who knew watching her discover her hands would be so exciting? And no matter how bad I thought my day was, I can look at her and realize that I am truly blessed. She is healthy, happy, and loves me unconditionally. I can't wait to see what else life has in store for us...

Ask me anything

If you can imagine it...

2011-08-15T12:11:00.001-04:00

If you can imagine it,

you can dream it,

dream it and you can become it.

I had such visions of a grand post for today. But instead, yesterday and my lunch break is filled with work for Delaware Naturalistas. We are really working hard to develop a quality event. Mediocre is not an option. I've never been brave enough to step out and build something like this from the ground up. It is quite exciting!

So today, I leave you with today's hair (braid out pulled into a puff) and one of the inspirational quotes from my office wall. ( I really need to get the rest of my quotes up, along with my degrees, and family pics. My co-workers give me daily reminders to decorate. They even gave me a head start by decorating my office for my return from maternity leave.)

And while we are inspired, I encourage you to check out the In Her Shoes blog. It is now one of my favorite blogs which features fly, female entrepreneurs. I am particularly inspired by today's post "5 Biz Lessons...".

What dreams are you pursuing?

Roll and Tuck Updos

2011-08-12T12:24:00.000-04:00

For today's edition of Fab Friday, I'd like to introduce you to my favorite hairstyle (as of this Wednesday). I finally came to the realization that my hair is finally long enough to do updos with ease...so I went for it. It was actually quite simple...

Step One: Dampen Hair, with particular attention to any section you plan on parting. (You don't want to hear snap, crackle, pop)

Step Two: Use scrunchies to hold your sections

Step Three: Apply styling products. ( I used Margherites' Hair Magic and Eco Styler gel)

Step Four: Tuck and roll to your heart's desire

Step Five: Seal with an oil

Optional: * Add Accesories * Lay down edges with a headtie

I was bored so I tried a different hairstyle yesterday and I'm wearing again today...

What is your new go to hairstyle?

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Featured Quarter Lifer: Madalena

2011-08-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

Name: Madalena

Age: 26

Occupation: Student/Cashier

Hobbies: reading, cooking, surfing the net, taking care of my hair, listening to music

Tell us about yourself: I was born in Angola (Africa) but have been living in Europe (Belgium) for over 20 years now. I turned 26 in july of this year. I'm a self proclaimed foodie and enjoy going to different restaurants and eating different cuisines, I also enjoy cooking and want to become better at it. I've been natural for almost 5 years and that has inspired me to monitor what I put

in my body so now I eat mostly organic food and am even thinking about becoming a vegetarian. I enjoy reading novels, especially those by people of African descent.

What has defined your quarter life experience? As I got into my early twenties, things were going great: I was in a relationship for the first time ever, I was in college and was travelling to see the world. Things couldn't be better. Things soon took a downfall: my boyfriend at the time turned out to be a real dud, he was verbally abusive and didn't really love me, he only wanted me for physical pleasure, nothing else. As I got into my third year - and what was supposed to be my last year in undergrad - I started failing college and that weighted heavily on my spirit, which made me become very ill. As a result I had to drop out of college, at the time I thought to myself: I'm never going back to

college, this is it, I'm gonna be a cashier forever (a job I only did part time to support myself through college) and raise my future children on this money, I can do it. So I worked for a year and soon realized that wasn't the life I had envisioned for myself, so I went back to college after a co-worker advised me to do so and I am proud to say that as of june 2011 I have obtained my bachelor's degree in African Studies, I took a leave of absence at work and in september I'm going to school full time to obtain my master's degree in African Studies. While I was 24-25 years old I also became obsessed with finding a mate but I now realize that everything happens in due time. It was also at that age that

I decided to seek a closer relationship with the Lord and that has truly shaped my mid twenties.

What are your dreams/goals? I do have dreams and it's only as of late that I dare say them out loud. My main goal is to be a catalyst, a piece of the puzzle when it comes to the advancement of people of African descent.

Any advice for other quarter lifers? My mantra is live and let live. And even I sometimes forget to do so, we get caught up in so much we forget to just take a breath and live.

Is there a blog/webpage where we can find you? You can follow me on twitter: Maracuja25, I plan to start a blog in the near future ;)

Would you like to be featured on The Quarter Life Chronicles? Please send your feature with picture(s) to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com.

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Delaware Naturalistas Website is up!

2011-08-09T00:19:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to announce that the Delaware Naturalistas website is up!Check it out!Click on the events page to purchase tickets for our first meet up!

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Silver and Gold

2011-08-08T12:31:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since my last outfit post. I'll admit it. I've been in hiding. This weekend I went to my cousin's bridal shower. (I'm a bridesmaid. Check out the pin!) This is one of the dresses in my closet that I dreaded trying to fit into. But it fit! (Barely...) Next, I'm going to try and tackle those dresses with zippers....

I committed a fashion faux paus. I wore silver AND gold. I figured since there were some silver/diamond accents in my jewelry and nude accents in my sandals... I could make it work.

I just LOVE this Ralph Lauren shirt on my sis.

I just had to get this pic... So extra!

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The Blog Life

2011-08-05T12:29:00.009-04:00

Before I get to the meat of this post, let's play a game. Click here and look up! (And don't cheat by reading ahead either!)

Boom! I have a new domain name! (http://www.qtrlifechronicles.com/) I'm official! I finally got to the point where I was tired of saying the drawn out web address that I foolishly picked almost two years ago . So I finally decided to make the huge investment of $10/year to buy a domain name. And don't worry. If you are too lazy to update your bookmarks, you can still reach the blog at http://www.toya-quarterlifechronicles.blogspot.com/. (You'll notice that disqus is currently down, because it still needs to be remapped. So you'll have to comment the old-fashioned way for now.)

When I started this blog two years ago, it was to serve as a creative outlet. If you had told me then that this blog would mean so much to me, I would have given you the serious side eye. Thanks to this blog, I have been able to connect with my friends in a new way, reconnect with old friends, and make new friends. Social networking is truly a powerful tool. You know those commercials where the parents were out living their lives while the children thought that social networking was truly living? Well, that's not me. But social networking has really impacted my life.

Case in point. I meet bloggers at a meetup and I feel like I've known them for years! As a new mom, I get online support with people I can relate. (I can't say the same for regular new mom support groups in person. At one, they told me I would never see my pre-pregnancy weight again. And at another, I looked around the room and thought, "I would never be their friends!" And then they wanted to go to a greasy, Mexican food place and I thought again, "NEVER!") But I digress. I've been inspired to be an entrepreneur. Keep on the lookout for the Delaware Naturalistas website, blog, and meetups. (Tywanda and I are working hard!)

And most important of all... I get to connect with my readers. Words cannot express the fulfillment I get from comments, formspring questions, and e-mails.

So to go along with my domain, I'd like to reveal my new blogging schedule. That way you'll know what to expect when you pull up The Quarter Life Chronicles in your web browser.

SUNDAY SAVINGS - periodic (but not weekly) posts on saving, budgeting, and sales.

MISCELLANEOUS MONDAYS - Rants or posts that you would find Wed. or Fri. (see below)

WISDOM WEDNESDAYS - Reflection, Career/Education, Love, Family.... the serious topics

FAB FRIDAYS - Hair, Fashion, and fun, light topics

On TUESDAYS and THURSDAYS, I will have quarter life features, guest posts, and answer formspring questsions (I have a few in my inbox).

I thought really hard about my blogging schedule and decided on this. I figured it was predictable, balanced, consistent, but manageable. Posts will be scheduled to go up at 8 a.m. each morning. If they aren't up by then, they should be up by 1 p.m. since I may work on them during my lunch break.

I'm also a proud owner of a new Mac. (I 'm in love!) And I'm going to finally buy a camera stand. It is a necessity.

So what do you think?

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Featured Quarter Lifer: Morgan

2011-08-04T13:29:00.002-04:00

Name: Morgan
Age: 26
Occupation: Leasing Coordinator for a Property Management Company
Hobbies: Fashion Blogging, Hair Styling

Tell us about yourself:
I am a twenty-six year old who in her spare time is a Fashion/Lifestyle Blogger and full-time Leasing Coordinator that lives in DC. I am originally from a small suburb in Southern California, and at age 17 I moved away to attend college in Alabama. I have been gone ever since, living in four states and one district. I feel that in each state (and district) I have gained quality life and fashion experience which has influenced who I am evolving into today.

What has defined your quarter life experience?
Honestly, I picked up blogging after two difficult periods in my life. I have always been very interested in fashion and hair. In fact, along with my Bachelors degree in Marketing, I also posess a trade as a Licensed Cosmetologist. I moved from Atlanta, GA with a Boyfriend of 2 years to DC because he was starting Law School. I was 23 at the time, have always been a hopeless romantic, and believe in happy endings. Therefore I decided to move with him to support him and seal our future. To make a long story short, we broke up within 4 months of moving here. We were living together until the end of our lease and when it was ending I decided to start blogging. Blogging was my way to heal from my pain and vent. My blog was a vblog at first and I admit it, kind of angry (lol). It started shifting from that into lifestyle after I moved on my own. I wanted to have a single black female with a "Sex and the City" feel. I was shopping my life away to " start fresh" by enjoying fashion and beauty; plus, I had the receipts to show it! I was working for another property management company where bonuses were lucrative and since it was just me I dumped those funds into fashion. Unfortunately, due to economy issues I lost my job. I was now twenty-five and like many other young (and old) professionals, I was an emotional wreck. If anyone has been actively looking for a job and been unemployed for over two months you know that you need something-anything to keep your mind off the fact no one is calling you back. This is when I decided to go into fashion blogging more. In between looking for jobs, posting resumes and emailing HR departments; I found that blogging about the fashion and styles that I saw on tv were a great way of staying sane. My love for fashion and shopping never died but my budget for shopping did. So that is when I started thrifting more. Going to Goodwills and thrift shops enabled me to find all types of deals and outfits for $20!!! I felt that I had to share my finds with the world since I didn't have co workers (lol). I turned to my blog again and gushed to everyone about my fashion finds. To me, it was like I had no control of what happened to my resume after I sent it but I had control over this. I also discovered Comeovertothedarkside.com's blog and got the idea of posting outfits. I now have a new job and I continue to post as well.

What are your dreams/goals?
My dream is to have well-known fashion blog. My goals are to continue with property management. I plan to get my REL (Real Estate License) in January so that I can buy, sell, and mange properties on an independent level. I plan on having a commercial property and opening a salon. I didn't get my Cosmetology License for nothing (hehe).

Any advice for other quarter lifers?
My advice is to turn your negatives into a positive in whatever aspect of your life. Though being a quarter lifer is kind of a grey area in life (grown but young lol) this time is more important than ever.

Is there a blog/webpage where we can find you?
http://dayofmajor.blogspot.com/ and Twitter @Dayofmajorblog :)

Would you like to be featured on The Quarter Life Chronicles? Please send your feature with picture(s) to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com.

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What life has taught me....

2011-08-03T12:33:00.001-04:00

Lately, life has really hit me with major highs... and lows (but not major). Aspects of my life, namely motherhood, have taught me to appreciate life. Aspects of my life, namely sickness and death, have taught me to live my life to the fullest.

From these highs and lows, I have learned:

Live life as if I would die tomorrow, but prepare for my life as if I will live forever
Approach life with the same vigor and curiosity that I see in my daughter's eyes
Touch others in a way that they can approach life in the same way....

(I had a sentimental moment during my lunch break.)

What has life taught you?

Let's Discuss.

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Dry Twistout Tutorial

2011-08-01T12:34:00.001-04:00

A few weeks ago, I promised a dry twistout tutorial. Now that baby Mariah is feeling well, I can make good on my promise. Back to the regular posting schedule...

Here is an easy breezy tutorial:

Step One: Pre-poo hair with coconut oil

Step Two: Wash and deep condition hair (SheaMoisture Moisture Retention Shampoo and Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner)

Step Three: Add Leave-In (Giovanni Direct leave-in)

Step Four: Seal with oil (African Royale Hot Six Oil) [Has cones]

Step Five: Blow dry in sections with heat protectant (IC Straightening Serum) [ You can use grapeseed oil to avoid cones]

Step Six: Flat twist with SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque; it took about 30 minutes

Step Seven: Take down twists and style. Have some oil on your fingers to reduce frizz

That's it! Do you prefer wet or dry twistouts? I prefer wet since they last longer. (I only like to do my hair once a week.) Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | Formspring

Best thing I never had...

2011-07-28T08:00:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago, my hubby bought me Beyonce's new cd, "4". And as you can imagine, it has been bumping in my car stereo ever since. My favorite songs include, "1+1", "Start Over", and "I Was Here". I should by default say "Run The World", but I only like that song because it somehow got stuck in my head.
When Beyonce released her second single, "Best Thing I Never Had", I expected that I would be really into the song. I think the video is beautiful and simple. The lyrics are thought out and actually make sense. [Can someone please translate "Run The World" for me? My translation is "Power of the P".] But for some reason, the song just doesn't resonate with me. I've been in relationships that turned sour. I finally found the love of my life. I'm the best thing never had... That song is me, right? I guess not.
It may have resonated with me when I first fell in love with my now husband. But as love has deepened and grown, anyone from the past doesn't even matter. I don't wish anyone ill will. Nor do I care if any good meets them. I simple don't care. (I'm surprised that I cared enough to write that I don't care...lol.)
But seriously... I think it's a great to be in a place where I'm not concerned about the past. It's great that this song elicits no emotion. And it's great that I don't feel the need to wag my finger and swerve my neck to say, "I'm the best thing you never had..."
What say you? How do you know when you are over a past relationship?
Let's Discuss.
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Guest Post: Love Me So Naturally

2011-07-26T12:14:00.000-04:00

As I try to juggle, my return to work and a sick child...here is a yet another guest post.

Today's guest post is from "Love me So Naturally". In her post, she explains natural courage.

Naturally Courageous

Learning to embrace our natural beauty can be challenging. Often times we aspire to be what we see. Well, I have decided to challenge myself. In November of 2010, I decided to join many others on the journey to care for and grow my hair in its natural state. After much research, I learned that a lot of the issues I have faced with growing my hair to its optimal length was a due to the harsh chemicals I used to process my hair. What a relief it was to find out that once I changed the way a handled my hair, my hair would change the way it responded to me.

I know that true change can only come from within. So today, I will walk the journey of loving myself from the inside out. I invite you to join me on this journey.

The journey to put the elements of who I truly am back into me….the journey to become "Naturally Courageous".

As a bonus... check out her henna mix!

Since I have decided to go natural I have treated my hair with Henna almost every four to six weeks. Henna is a natural hair dye which provides a wealth of benefits for strong, healthy hair. Henna is great for completely covering gray hair and lasts much longer then other coloring agents. For various results, Henna may be mixed with other natural coloring agents such as Indigo to achieve your desired look.

My Henna Mix:

100g of Body Art Quality Henna
1/2 cup of conditioner of your choice (My Preference: Say Yes to Carrots! or Herbal Essence Hello Hydration)
1/2 cup of Distilled water
2-3 drops of Peppermint Oil
2 Tbsp of Olive Oil

Mix ingredients to a thick paste and apply evenly throughout the hair. (It is not necessary to wash hair prior to application) Cover hair with a plastic cap or saran wrap for at least three hours. Thoroughly rinse hair free of Henna residue, and style hair as normal.

Though Henna is a great benefit for naturals, it also provides the same benefits for chemically treated hair. However, it is important to use body art quality Henna if your hair is chemically treated.

There are some rare cases of people who have had an allergic reaction to Henna. Thus, prior to using this product I would recommend completing a test patch to verify you do not develop any of the following symptoms:
a tight feeling in the chest, sneezing, itchy eyes, runny nose, and dry cough, after exposure to Henna powder or paste.

As with any product, I would recommend that you do extensive research to ensure that the product is right for you.

You can purchase Henna from the following website: http://www.hennaforhair.com/

As always, leave comments, questions, or add suggestions on how you use Henna.

Until next time, Love Me So Naturally!

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Guest Post: Resume Writing Tips

2011-07-20T12:24:00.009-04:00

I am pleased to present today's guest post by Zakia Johnson. We attended high school and college together. So when she announced that she will be offering resume writing consultations (resumedivaz@gmail.com), I asked her to do a guest post. Here she shares her own experience and provides great resume writing tips!

Zakia Johnson is a counselor and adjunct faculty member at Howard Community College. Prior to joining the Howard Community College staff, she was employed at the University of Maryland Baltimore County as an academic advisor and program coordinator for the Erickson School where she assisted students in their academic, internship, and career development. She discovered her passion in student advocacy through her experiences as a student and staff member at the University of Delaware where she received her B.A in Criminal Justice/Sociology and her M.Ed. in College Counseling. Currently, she is actively pursuing her Ph.D. in Higher Education Administration. She also is an active member of the Maryland and Delaware communities through her work as a mentor for My Sister’s Circle (in Baltimore, MD), Chair of the Board of Directors for Teens In Perspective, Inc. (serving the entire state of Delaware), and an active alum serving on the University of Delaware Black Alumni Organization's Homecoming Committee. Zakia lives in Randallstown, MD with her husband and daughter. She is ecstatic to encourage, empower, and educate students, colleagues, and peers to be active and contributing citizens!

As we all know, the job market is suffering and the people of the United States are struggling even more. The unemployment rate is at an all time low (as of June 2011, 9.2% Ref.http://www.bls.gov/cps/ ). I personally experienced the devastating impact of being laid off. In May of 2009, I was laid off from my former employer due to budget cuts from the company funding our department. Many of us in education often assume that we will ALWAYS have a job. As an active and successful higher education administrator, I never thought in a million years that I would be without a job. Boy was I up for a rude awakening! I took the 9 months I was laid off to reflect on my personal and career goals, became an active volunteer for two non-profit organizations, and revamped my resume. I literally sent out over 100 resumes and cover letters to different higher education institutions for varying positions. I was perplexed as to why I only received a few phone interviews, a handful of on-campus interviews, and several rejection letters. Clearly I was well qualified and capable of being a successful employee for most if not all the positions I applied for. So, I decided to review my resume again and identify what I needed to allow my resume to stand out from the hundreds of resumes recruiters see on a daily basis.

Below are some of the tips/tricks I used to make myself marketable and I believe they can be useful for anyone currently job searching:

1. Use design that grabs attention

The design of your resume must highlight the most important information about your work experience, skills and education. At first glance this information forms the image that employers have of your skills and abilities.

2. Create content that sells

Resume design should get attention but it's really the content of your resume, the descriptions you include of your skills and abilities, that determine how many interviews you generate--as well as the level of salary offers you receive.

3. Tweak & target your resumes & cover letters

You will generate many more interviews by tweaking your resume and cover letter so that they address the specific skills each employer requests.

4. Spell Check & Proofread Grammar

I have been told by many recruiters and employers that they've passed on resumes that have grammar and spelling errors throughout the resume/cover letter. I strongly encourage you not only to use the spell check program in Word, but also go through your cover letters/resumes with a fine tooth comb to ensure there are no errors in either document--it could be the determining factor of whether you get an interview or not!

5. Consider a bulleted style to make your resume reader-friendly.

6. Don't stress yourself out by adhering to the one-page resume rule.

It's good to keep your resume to one page, if possible. But if you have a lot of experience, two pages may be more appropriate. If your resume spills beyond one page, but you have less than a half a page of material for the second page, it may be best to condense to one page.

7. Do NOT lie on your resume--the truth shall set you free!

8. Make sure that each page of your resume has your name on it.

Sometimes recruiters/employers/search committees can lose pages. I would recommend making your first and last name the header of each page after the first (since the first page should already have your name and contact info on it).

9. Do consider a section such as "Summary of Qualifications," or "Profile," which can also help sharpen your focus. Here is an example from my own resume:

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

Professional Profile

· Resourceful, creative problem-solver with proven aptitude to analyze and translate student development theories into practice.

· Proficient educator who has designed and implemented innovative approaches to student learning in traditional and non-traditional educational settings.

· Organized administrator with effective oral and written communication skills.

· Dynamic leader with the ability to articulate the varying approaches/models for multicultural education.

· Visionary professional with proven aptitude to develop and implement departmental short and long range goals.

· Collaborative team player with demonstrated ability to interact well with a diverse group of people at a local, national, or global level

· Efficient in Microsoft Program Use: PowerPoint, Word, and Excel

10. Be mindful of how you display professionalism in your resume--your first impression is often your last!

Using your email address from college or high school (e.g. cutiepie19@hotmail.com or the mandingo92@yahoo.com ) is not displaying the best first impression.

Remember, your resume is not the only tool to get you the job, but it will definitely assist in getting your foot in the door for the first interview...the rest is up to you and how you market yourself!

If you are interested in having your resume and/or cover letter created/reviewed/revamped by Zakia Johnson, please send an email to resumedivaz@gmail.com.

Zakia Johnson, M.Ed.

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Delaware Naturalistas Giveaway Winner

2011-07-20T12:17:00.000-04:00

And the winner of the uprinting.com giveaway is...

Commenter #3 .....Tiphanep.

Please send your e-mail address to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com. I will forward it to uprinting.com!
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Blog Love Friday... on a Tuesday?!

2011-07-19T12:54:00.001-04:00

I blinked... and all of a sudden it's Tuesday! Last Thursday, I returned to work and Mariah started day care. When my hubby dropped her off, he saw a little boy coughing and sneezing. He immediately called me. And guess what? She has a cold. She is doing pretty well though. She is just as happy as can be.

I plan on returning to the regular blogging schedule. I have tons of posts from various topics in store for you. In the meantime, I'd like to show some blog love to Rose from Rosedale. In this post, she introduces her blog. I love this post, because it talks about growth and maturity after college. I can totally relate. Although, at the core I am the same person, I have definitely changed. I'm also excited because she is a co-founder of a black female, alumni group for our alma mater. It is building such camaraderie! Group members are setting aside past college drama and cliches to foster sisterhood. Love it! For the first time, I am excited about Homecoming!

***

The meaning behind your Blogger name

I am a city girl at heart and ALWAYS will be. New York City to be exact - born and raised in Rosedale, Queens. My tag line for my poetry in college would be Rose from Rosedale - A Queen from Queens. Hence the title of this blog site. I hope that my experiences are able to help someone and I look forward to all I will experience on this journey.

"Every Rose has its thorns" is a quote that I feel best describes my personality. Basically their are imperfections in every person and in every situation. I am loving, kind, loyal, determined, educated woman who loves to smile which could be characterized as the beauty of a rose. But I feel the perception of me is not always that. I've been called a B*tch, told I was too serious, told I was too hard on people, that I had a terrible attitude or that I expected too much. These are things I consider to be thorns. I try very hard to show my "rose-like" qualities instead of the thorns but sometimes they need to come out :)

I have grown a lot since college and I'm sure those college peers would not believe I am the same Stacy and its because....I'm not. I don't get the same satisfaction from the things that I've done and I am not proud of my behaviors. I have apologized and come to grips with everything being in the past and have even rekindled some friendships. Everything is a growing and learning process and those experiences were a part of mine.

The fact is...No one is perfect and that includes me. As everyone grows and matures we learn more about each other and ourselves. We learn our strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. I have come to like myself, the person I have become, the friendships that have remained and the new ones that have formed. I am surrounding myself with people who understand that even best situations have their down sides and that negative situations can have positive outcomes, because every rose has its thorns...

How have you grown and matured since college?

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A Watched Pot Never Boils

2011-07-13T12:16:00.001-04:00

Dry flat twist-out using Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque on blown out hair

(Tutorial to follow)

I feel like I woke up one day and there she was... big hair!(See before here) Yesterday, my mother-in-law commented about how much my hair has grown. "We used to give it to you", she joked. You got that right! EVERYONE either had jokes on my hair or gave it the side eye. But that is no more. Now I feel like I'm starting a movement. (Who knew hair could be so powerful? I guess it isn't just hair, is it?) Now my nieces want curly hair like mine. Yesterday, I did a twist and curl in my older niece's hair. I taught her to how to pre-poo, deep condition, detangle, and style. I'm determined to get her hair to blossom. She has fine, coarse hair and struggles with breakage. Everyone is watching to determine whether they will follow suit. I'm up to the challenge.

One thing I am proud of during my journey is that I resisted the urge to "watch the pot". I measured it once in January. It was slightly less than 1/2 inch growth per month. Not quite 1/2 an inch. Instead of getting caught up in measuring my hair I decided to just let it grow. Whether or not it is on schedule, I am happy since I can see the difference.

I guess I should follow the same philosophy with weight loss...huh? I want to thank everyone for their support. I really am making strides and I should be easier on myself. I'm losing inches and looking leaner with each that day passes. So I'm officially announcing that I'm going to stop watching the pot. Instead of weighing myself daily, which is obsessive and unhealthy...I am going to do weekly weigh-ins. To hold myself to it, I'm telling my husband to hide my scale. (He already warned me when we bought it that he would take it away if I start obsessing over my weight. I'm there. He can have it.) But for old times sake, I weighed myself this morning. I lost a pound. [Insert happy dance.] Okay. Moment over.

In general (not just hair growth and weight loss), what are you thoughts on "watching the pot"? Is it better to measure progress or follow a laissez-faire approach? At what point does it become obsessive?

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New Design Tweaks

2011-07-11T15:19:00.001-04:00

What do you think of the new blog design? I added buttons found at: I then redid the color palette accordingly. Until, I can afford a blog overhaul...this will have to do. Please leave your navigation and blog design suggestions below! Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | Formspring

Delaware Naturalistas Giveaway

2011-07-11T12:12:00.001-04:00

When I decided to go natural last year, I was pleased to find an amazing online community. Unfortunately, there is a dearth of face-to-face support in the Delaware area. To fill this void, a colleague and I (Tywanda of http://www.tywanda.com/) have decided to start a meetup group for naturalistas in or near Delaware:

Delaware Naturalistas: Embracing Kinks, Locs and Curls
Find us on facebook: Delaware Naturalistas
Follow us on twitter: DENaturalistas

We plan on holding our first meetup in August 2011. To promote our first meetup, we plan on using flyers courtesy of uprinting.com. Stay tuned for more details!

In the meantime, I am pleased to announce a giveaway courtesy of Uprinting.com. If you have an upcoming event (personal or business) or business, sign up for the giveaway! To sign up for the giveaway, simply comment below explaining how you will use the flyers. (Another opportunity to promote yourself!) The giveaway will run until Monday, July 18, 2011. A winner will be selected at random using random.org.

Nightclub Flyers / Flyers
250pcs. Flyers for one winner
4.25" x 5.5", 4" x 6"
14pt Cardstock Gloss, Front Only Printing,
nightclub flyer templates and business flyer templates also available for download
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Post Partum: Hair Shedding and Weight Loss

2011-07-11T11:19:00.006-04:00

(Please excuse my phone pic)

When you are pregnant, your eye is on the prize. You are focused on meeting your bundle of joy and getting your body back. But they don't warn you that after you give birth, recovery takes time. (Ok. I admit. They warned me. But I didn't realize the gravity of the postpartum experience.)

Enter stage left.... the shed and shred. (I'm coining that phrase. Don't steal it.)

So for nine months, there was barely one hair on my comb. And now over nine months later, it is making up for lost time. Now granted, I'm lucky. My hair is very dense. I've never had a problem with my edges. So I'm not worried about thin hair. But these shred hairs are working my last nerve! They are getting entangled in my hair and making detangling a nightmare! (Granted, I need to come to terms with the fact that my hair now needs to be washed in braids. But I digress.) So this weekend, I said enough is enough. I blew out my hair to get all the shed hairs out. My bathroom floor was filled with long strands of hair with the bulb still attached. Finally, I can touch my hair and not have hair in my hands. Or look at my head and see shed hairs hanging out.

Now you know what I wish I WOULD shed... this baby weight! This constant reminder that I was unsuccessful at breastfeeding. I'll admit it. I got off the bandwagon. I was sick one week. Last week, I worked out but ate Snackwell cookies. I only have myself to blame. I'm stuck at 134 pounds with 8 pounds till my pre-pregnancy weight and 9 pounds to my goal weight. I will give myself credit though. I'm losing inches. And I'm getting tone. Although I still have a slight baby pouch and extra skin...it no longer looks like blubber. Now that's progress!

Losing baby weight and getting in shape has been my hardest body battle to date. I'm so used to dropping pounds with a few minor adjustments. Le sigh. I will admit though. I struggled with losing weight while I was in grad school. I believe the sedentary lifestyle was to blame....work, class, library. I graduated, started working full-time, and the weight melted off.

I return to work on Thursday. Maybe I'll start shedding weight faster than I shed all my hair.

Any one have any tips for post partum shedding and/or weight loss? I'm listening. I need help.

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Wash 'N Go

2011-07-08T12:47:00.002-04:00

I can thank motherhood for reaquainting me with the wash and go. On Sunday, I pre-pooed (water, coconut oil and baggied) my hair to prep for a wash. But Mariah, kept me so busy that I couldn't wash and twist my hair. Before I knew it, it was time for us to take Mariah to my mom's house so the hubby and I could see Transformers for date night.

So to avoid walking around with greasy hair and smelling like a coconut, I had to improvise.

Wash 'N Go

I washed with Shea Moisture- Moisture Retention Shampoo and conditioned with Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner. I then put in Giovanni Direct-Leave -in and sealed with African Royale Hot Six Oil. I then added Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie to small sections, detangled, braided, and sealed the ends with shea butter. I then blotted with a t-shirt and blow dried a bit, focusing on the roots, and sealed with jojoba oil. I dressed, pulled into a puff, and put on a headwrap to slick down the front. I took it off before I got out the car at the movies. And voila!

Co-Wash 'N Go

On Wednesday, I co-washed with Suave Humectants (cheapie conditioner). I finger detangled a bit. I then added Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie. I did mini pineapples with scrunchies and dressed. I used the aforementioned puff method.

Refresh 'N Go

To refresh for second day hair (points above), I spritzed with water and sealed with jojoba oil. I used the same puff method.

This definitely won't be my go to style since my hair dries out too quickly with a wash 'n go. But when I'm pinched for time, it is comforting to know that I have this as an option.

What are your time saving hair tricks?

Guest Post: The Road Twice Traveled

2011-07-07T11:50:00.004-04:00

I was all set to write my post for the day, when I checked out a blog post by one of loves, Nadette of Eat Read Rant! It was so inspiring and written with such fervor that I just had to share. Also, check out to my guest post on the The Fabulous Life... for Free. It is entitled, "Shout Out to the Dream Killas". I forgot all about this post. But it is so fitting...

If you had told me on this very day last year, as I was practically bursting with excitement, flitting around BWI's Airport with my sister and two of my best friends as we embarked on our amazing journey to Spain and Morocco, that I would return to Spain for a second time just ten months later, I probably would have believed you. If you had told me that I would vow to move to Spain (as did Alihah) after that first trip, I would likely have believed that too. I mean, who wouldn't vow the same thing after two weeks in Europe, most people have that reaction. Besides, I was very serious when I made this declaration, which I actually originally made in 2005, following my 5 glorious weeks of study abroad in Italy. However, in both instances when I made these declarations, something was missing and I'm not talking about the really important details of HOW, WHEN, WHERE or the fact that I speaka only English [for now]. They were missing something that made them real, something that tapped into the heart of the matter. This missing something is probably, if not definitely, the reason why even after having declared my intentions to semi-permanently part ways with the U.S. of A for a second time last year, I failed to actually start my research on the mechanics of such a move.

So fast forward to my last three days in Spain. After the feria ended, the city was in hibernation mode. In the spirit of much needed rest and recovery, Labrone, Jason, Miriam and I took it easy. We went to the beach, and even after high winds, marginally warm temperatures, and intermittent sunshine foiled our beach day, we didn't stress about it.

We lazed about, we went bowling, we went to the bar and came home before some un-Godly hour, we drank mojitos, we went shopping (again) and on our final day in España, we meandered on over to our departure city of Sevilla. Having arrived in Sevilla several hours behind "schedule", [<---why do we even bother with that? I mean really, we were a car full of Spanish and Black folks...] I was feeling a little tense. I had crucial shopping to get done and there were a million thoughts running through my mind, none of which were, "I can't wait to get home". Quite frankly, I was not ready to leave. And then it happened. We finally found a parking spot, I got out of the car, stepped out into the blazing Andalusian sun, took in the scenery, which was dotted with orange trees in the midst of a bustling modern yet historic metropolis, and felt something click [and it wasn't my knee, for once]. I was home. That's what was missing. That feeling that this is not only where I want to be, but this is where I belong. I was elated. I relaxed a little. I immediately declared my revelation to companions. My cousin, Labrone seemed doubtful, but by the end of our night in Sevilla, he couldn't help but agree with me. Ladies and Gents, Senoras y Caballeros, I have found the destination of my destiny. Boo. Yah. [!]

I had a sneaking suspicion I would like Sevilla. Last year, we literally only saw the inside of Sevilla's train station and airport, and I was a little sad we didn't have time to explore this city. But if you had told me this time last year, as I was boarding onto our first flight [of 3 just to get to Barcelona!] that it would take me all of 30 seconds to decide exactly where I plan to park my future ex-patriot self for at least 2 years, I would have laughed in your face. Decisions of such magnitude often elicit a significant investment of time, research and list making, in order for me to feel comfortable. But yet here I type, speaking my future into action, and my future is in Sevilla. To say that I'm terrified when I actually think about what I want to do means--the sum of all its parts, the mind boggling logistics, the COST-- is an understatement. I'm practically shaking in my Jessica Simpson flats! There is also a small part of me that is scared that it won't happen. Like when I made a declaration to the universe last year that I would have a new job in DC by the Autumn of 2010 and yet 11 months later, I'm still literally dragging myself into the same job that is the source of much of my inner turmoil, ~~each and every~~ most days. But I know that everything happens, or doesn't happen for a reason, so I've begun to make peace with what didn't happen. And in that peace, I'm making strides toward greater things. I'm hesitant to say I have a "plan". Life is what happens when you're busy making plans, and due to my full blown ADD [self-diagnosed, not medicated] I'm more than likely to become distracted and distressed when my so called plans, inevitably turn out differently. Rest assured, there is a blueprint, but that's all I can say as of yet. The wheels in my head are turning, I'm praying on some changes hopefully soon to come, and the rest, I'm going to leave to God until I can see the picture more clearly. But hear me when I say this. Speak it. Live it. Luv it. (and pray too for good measure, because God listens, true story).

Happy Spainiversary Hillary, Odichi, and Alihah! We rocked the $hit out of that trip!

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Guest Post: 5 Tips for Successful Menu Planning

2011-07-01T09:53:00.003-04:00

Today, as part of Blog Love Friday, we have a guest post from TiAnna from"The Fab Life For...Free" .

For me, there’s nothing worse than coming home to an emaciated husband and child searching for dinner, only to find that there’s nothing thawed out and the food that we have in our house won’t make a complete meal. Then there’s the grueling follow-up questions of: “What should we do?” and “Where should we go to get something to eat”. I admit, my men are spoiled, but they depend on me for nourishment, and I don’t mind that because I know how to cook a balanced meal at the cheapest price, and they on the other hand have a long way to go in learning how to do that. Everyone is drained of energy and time zapped these days. Between an hour commute to work, overtime, soccer games, and dance practice, that leaves dinner some where between a McDonald’s drive thru and Hamburger Helper. Which, I’m not bashing either option, but obviously you can’t live healthily on those choices alone.

Menu planning has helped me to save an average of $280/ month, I don’t throw as much food away, my family definitely eats better and we stay within a reasonable daily calorie count, and I have more time to do the things that I want to do, like exercise.

Here are five tips to help you get started.

1. Plan ahead in reasonable increments. For instance, I menu plan for two weeks at a time, because I do my household budget in two week increments, and I know I probably won’t make it to the store any more frequent than that.

2. Choose your meals wisely and give yourself grace. So, you saw a stuffed porkchop with pear sauce and asparagus and garlic mashed potato recipe that you’d like to try, but you’ve never made it. It’s always great to try new things, however, don’t plan to make this meal on the day you have Zumba class at 6:30 pm, you get off work at 5 pm, and have to get your kids from daycare at 5:30 pm. That is not a realistic goal, and you will only discourage yourself. Plan to make a meal like this when you have more time, possibly a Sunday dinner.

3. Build your plan with insurance. Build in leftover days, date nights, and “fun” food nights. I enjoy cooking, however, the meals that I prepare can be time consuming. Therefore, I build my men-plan to accommodate 3-4 cooking days and 3-4 leftover days, which works beautifully for my schedule. Depending on my evening commitments during any given season, I tend to cook Friday thru Monday and have leftovers Tuesday thru Thursday. Also, if you know you only have a small window of time to prepare dinner, then make sure you schedule that day as a leftover day, eating out day, or even better…frozen food day. I really enjoy Stouffer’s Lasagna’s and Bertolli pasta. These meals are quick , not too bad for you, and don’t require much prep work or clean up. Although, if you have a large family, these options may not work for you.

4. Build your plan with sales, holidays, and parties in mind. If you know you’re having a huge family Thanksgiving dinner party and there will be a ton of leftovers, make sure to have as many leftover days as your family can stand, then freeze the rest, and bring it back out in a month or so. We all know that it costs to put on a dinner party, and let’s not mention all the prep work; capitalize on all the time and money spent by giving yourself a break through leftover days. Also, if you are an avid couponer or really search through the sale ads, then plan your meals around the reduced cost items that you find. For instance, leading up to Memorial Day you can find meats, corn on the cob, barbeque sauce, and paper towels for a lot cheaper than they normally are, and that is the time to stock up on those items and put them into your plan

5. If you fall off the wagon…GET BACK ON AGAIN!!!

Here is my menu plan from January of this year. Please notice the scratch outs and write-overs; that’s called…GRACE! If something happens and your plan changes, don’t be so rigid that you can’t modify the plan. Wow…pizza 3 NIGHTS in a row!!! I can’t remember, but I must’ve been VERY busy at that time. Also, notice how there’s plenty of leftover days, and we also planned to have a meal out on certain days. This schedule is posted on my refrigerator for all to see; so it takes a lot of the uncertainty away for the hubsters and TrentMan.

Do you menu plan? What tips could you share that would be helpful in regards to menu-planning?

*If you have a menu-planning or savings post, please link by clicking the button below!

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Purging the Closet: Staple vs. Statement (Part Deux)

2011-06-29T08:00:00.004-04:00

Last weekend, Nadette and Hil stopped by to see baby Mariah. I was in the middle of cleaning out my closet and I saw this as the perfect opportunity to do a serious purging. Too often, I've cleaned out my closet but still held onto too many pieces of dead weight. It was time to purge. And I needed their help.

So "Sex and the City" style, they voted clothes out of the closet. (Our version didn't include alcohol, and included our own rendition of "Wheels on the Bus" while dancing Mariah in front of the mirror.) They were more than happy to throw clothes into the pile, and threaten my life if I pulled anything out.

I can FINALLY say that I'm entering the next stage of my life with a clean slate. If an item is not a staple or statement piece, it is not staying in my closet nor is it coming in. To me, the clothes you wear speak volumes. And the clothes in the pile no longer spoke my language. I want my clothing to reflect where I am in life. I'm about to be 29. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. (And not a frumpy one.) I'm an educator. So the outdated, ill-fitting, too young clothing had to go.

How do you determine what pieces you should keep in your closet? Do you simply follow the one year rule? How do you decide what to buy? What do your clothes say about you?

P.S. If you didn't get the memo, this is a major sale weekend. This is a great time to get some great summer pieces as stores clear their inventory to restock with fall items. If you want to stay abreast of sales and coupons, sign up for your favorite stores' e-mail lists.

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Post-Baby: Hair, Skin, and Body

2011-06-28T13:33:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, I did a bentonite clay treatment, twisted my hair, and trimmed my ends. My post-partum shedding, coupled with my ratched ends resulted in tangles. It was time to let them go so I cut off about half an inch. To trim, I simply clipped where my ends thinned out. Hair should generally be the same diameter when twisted or braided.

It is no secret that pregnancy takes a toll on the body. I am well aware that my body will never be the same, but my goal is to prove that I can still be a hot mama. So I'm chronicling my post-pregnancy experience in hopes that others can relate.

Hair

During pregnancy, my hair rarely shed. And now that Mariah is here, it is finally shedding nine months of hair b.k.a. post-partum shedding. Luckily, I am not shedding excessively. Unfortunately, the shed hairs are tangling in my hair. To combat this issue, I decided to do a bentonite treatment and trimmed my ends. Last week I wore my hair in twists and took them down on Friday. I'm still rocking the resulting twist-out.

Skin

Post-partum acne, stretch marks, and stretched skin...they are my arch nemesis.

I'm finally seeing some reprieve from my post-partum acne. I am happy to say that I no longer feel like I'm on the verge of yet ANOTHER break-out. To combat the acne, I drink plenty of water, eat a balanced diet, and I'm adamant about my skin care routine. I do a bentonite clay treatment once a week. I do a three-step Neutrogena treatment: face wash, astringent, and daily moisturizer. I exfoliate with Apricot St. Ives to remove the old skin and spot treat with Mint Jalepe's masque.

For stretch marks and stretched skin, my main weapon is exercise. Along with exercise, vitamin e caplets, and some shea butter... I have to exercise patience.

Body

I have finally come to a place where I am comfortable in my own skin. I still have 9 pounds to go. ( I lost 6 pounds in the last 3-4 weeks.) I know my body will NEVER be the same, but I know I'm going to be happy with my body after baby. (In fact, I'm happy now! ) I can't stress enough how important exercise is to recovery after baby. Exercise helped me kick baby blues to the curb. (Hello endorphins!) It kicked my metabolism into high gear and my body gets stronger and toner with each day that passes. So whether or not a pound drops, I wake up each morning looking and feeling better.

I'll admit that it is difficult to find time to exercise. But here is how I do it:

I exercise in the morning. I have never been a morning person. The snooze button has never been my friend. But now, after Mariah's four o'clock feeding, I do an hour workout. I either do one of my DVDs or an On Demand workout.
10-20 minute intense workouts. There are some days/nights that are rough and I don't have the energy to workout in the morning. As an alternative, I try to find pockets of time in the day. I use 10 minute workouts. If she is still asleep, I add 10 more minutes. To fully utilize this short amount of time, I do high intensity workouts like Cardiosculpt. I try to work various parts of the body at the same time as well intense cardio. The result is a lot of calories burned in a short amount of time.
I utilize my support system. I go to zumba with family. My hubby or family member babysit so that I can carve out time for myself. Because quite frankly, if I take care of myself I am ultimately a better mom.

Check out the proud auntie!

Burp me!

What are YOUR hair, skin, and body tips?

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Blog Love Friday: Inspirational Post...What Inspires You?

2011-06-24T09:21:00.001-04:00

Today's blog love is actually vlog love for MsAriella89. I absolutely love her channel. She is in her early twenties, but she already portrays a lot of maturity and understanding of the world around her. In her video, she poses the following questions:

What inspires you?
What scares you?
What motivates you to make a change?

She posed these questions in response to someone being scared about going natural. But her response is in the general sense. I think these are important questions to ask whenever you make ANY major decisions in life.

So today, please link an inspirational post using the link below and in the comments section answer the aformentioned questions. What inspires YOU?

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Every day is Father's Day

2011-06-22T11:20:00.034-04:00

This Father's Day post is a few days late, but it's been a busy week...

Words can not express how grateful I am to have my hubby in my life. Seeing him with baby Mariah reminds me of why I married him. He loves me. He is committed to our relationship. He has always wanted a family. (He didn't have a case of the eternal bachelor syndrome.)

Yesterday, I read "Black Woman Redefined". It is based upon a book where it talks about how black women (any woman, really) need to redefine their view of success as it relates to their career, love, religion and more. I've been guilty --at various points in time-- of the concepts discussed. One is the concept of independence. It's taken me a long time to realize that I'm not in this alone. He shares the burden of every problem, the joy of every accomplishment, and the excitement of parenthood.

I love me some him... and so does his little princess. When he sees her, his heart melts. And he has "the magic touch" when it comes to burping our gassy baby girl.

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Blog Love Friday

2011-06-17T01:06:00.001-04:00

I haven't shown some Blog Love in quite a while so I figured I'd bring it back with a bang! Each Friday, I'm going to show some blog love based upon a quarter life theme (points above). I'll also provide readers with the opportunity to post a link related to that theme.

Today, I want to send some blog love to:

The Good Hair Blog

Yesterday, I was featured as part of their "Captured Curls" feature. If you haven't seen it, check it out! Thanks to this feature, I have quite a few new readers. Since I try to check out everyone's blog, I'd like to invite my readers (new and old) to link their blog below. I'd love to check them out and I'm sure my readers will as well.

TODAY, THERE IS NO THEME. IF YOU HAVE A BLOG, LEAVE YOUR LINK BY CLICKING THE BUTTON BELOW! :-)

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A Braid Out Story

2011-06-16T10:12:00.001-04:00

Stories normally start at the beginning. They introduce the characters, build the plot, anti-climax, and bring the story home. But in this story, the middle is the most satiating part of the story. So let's start "in medias res". (And yes, I looked up the term.)

My hair for my first date night out with the hubby (after baby).

And here's how we got here...

I adjusted my twist out method for a braid out. For my braid out, I braided my hair and two stranded twisted the ends. I used Shea Moisture on wet hair and sealed the ends with shea butter.

I put coconut oil on my braids and took them down. What the french toast?! FAIL! Thumbs WAY down.

Whenever my curls look funny, I pull them close together. It creates a great illusion. So I separated my braids into smaller curls and pulled them into a puff using a headband. (Check out this video tutorial by bronzeqt.) I then put Carol Daughter's Some of Marguerite's Magic on the front and laid it down with a head wrap.

And voila! I got dressed and then dressed up my puff with a headband. [Refer to "In medias res"]

Day 2

Day 3 (not pictured) It shrunk and got a little frizzy so I randomly twisted large sections of my hair and sealed the ends with shea butter. The next day I moisturized with CD's Marguerite's Magic, Mimosa Hair Honey, and jojoba oil. (There was no method to my madness. I just put product on until it felt and looked right)

Day 4 - The results of my big random twists. Love!

Day 5- My hair is the frizzness. Time to redo. That night I dampened my hair, and rebraided using the original method.

Does anyone else have any braid out tips? Please feel free to share!

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Advice for New Grads

2011-06-15T00:36:00.001-04:00

Yesterday's pre-quarter life feature of Nhya reminded me that I forgot to congratulate all of the 2011 graduates.

Congratulations Grads!

A few weeks ago I took a short hiatus from maternity leave to help with graduation. I just couldn't miss the opportunity to watch my students graduate and to officially bid them farewell. As students transition into the working world I often give them a few pieces of advice. I figured this would be a great time to share them with my readers.

1. Pursue your passion. For my traditional students, I remind them that they have no responsibilities. No kids. No mortgage. And they have a safety net a.k.a. parents. So this is the perfect time to do some soul searching to figure out their true interests. Although they can figure it out later in life, it will take some juggling of responsibilities. For my non-traditional students, I remind them that they have earned their degree despite the odds. New doors have opened. Take a chance and walk through them.

2. Interview your employer. You should do this for numerous reasons. First, it will ease your nerves. If you keep in mind that you are also interviewing your employer, deeming whether it is a good fit and worth your talents, it should ease your nerves. Second, doing so will force you to conduct in depth research which will ultimately impress the employer. And finally, it will help you determine a good fit. If you take the time to determine whether the work environment, management style and other factors match with your style, you will save yourself from a tumultuous work experience.

3.Continue to learn, grow, and develop. Figure out who you are outside of what others (mom, dad, siblings, significant other) expect of you, perceive of you, etc. etc. Use each life experience to learn more about yourself. Each of my life experiences have helped me learn more about myself. You'd be surprised at how little you understood yourself and the world around you...when you look back at your 21 year old self.

To learn more about my transition into the working world, check out the following links:

Do what you love, love what you do (Part 1)
Do what you love, love what you do (Part 2)
Five Years. Five Apartments
Nine months. Nine Mice.
Apartment Living. The Final Chapter.

Does anyone else have any advice for new grads?

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Featured Pre-Quarter Lifer: Nhya

2011-06-14T14:01:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite aspects of this blog is the ability to connect with other quarter lifers. To provide more opportunities for us to connect and learn from each other, I would like to feature readers who are beginning, in the midst, or graduating from the quarter life experience. Please feel free to leave questions for the featured quarter lifer in the comments section.

Name: Nhya aka "Carrymel"

Age: 21 (pre-quarter lifer, I guess you could say)

Occupation: Recent college grad looking for an occupation.

Hobbies: Shopping, writing, romance movies, reading, more shopping, blogging, all things women empowering and inspiring.

Tell us about yourself: I just graduated with a degree in Journalism, trying to find my niche. I'm a young woman transitioning to womanhood, lover, drama-queen, smart ass, jokester, emotional wreck, but I promise you - I'm awesome.

What has defined your quarter life experience? College has helped me grow up A LOT, and I'm entering a new stage of life. It's crazy.

What are your dreams/goals? I wanna be somewhere comfortably between Kimora Lee, Oprah and Carrie Bradshaw. Mix them all up and you've got me.

Any advice for other quarter lifers? Take this time to explore yourself - you live once!

Is there a blog/webpage where we can find you? Why yes :) http://carrymel.blogspot.com/ - tell yo friends!

Would you like to be featured on The Quarter Life Chronicles? Please send your feature with picture(s) to qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com.

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Post-Pregnancy Fitness Assessment

2011-06-09T23:47:00.000-04:00

To quantify the damage my pregnancy had on my body, I decided to get a complete fitness assessment. As part of the assessment, the following items are measured: blood pressure, resting heart rate, body fat, bmi, waist/hip ratio, aerobic fitness, push-ups, sit reach, sit-ups. I scored in the fit or excellent category for everything except the waist/hip ratio. Since this ratio does not account for ethnicity, I'm ignoring that number.

As a point of comparison, I used my fitness assessment from back in June 2009. I took it with the intention of working out prior to my wedding. I didn't want to lose weight. I just wanted to get tone. Never happened. Working, buying a house, and planning a wedding took up all of my time.

It is important to note that my pre-pregnancy weight was 126 lbs rather than 124. (By the time I went into labor, I had gained about 28-30 lbs.) Also, the trainer stood on my feet to make sit-ups easier for me. My abs are definitely NOT stronger post-pregnancy. ( I probably should have taken it easy. They really hurt now.)

With all of this in mind, my goals are for weight loss and performance. I want to slim down to 125 lbs so that my pants can fit. And since I want to make sure that I maintain exercise as part of my lifestyle, I want to focus on my body's performance in terms of dance. In the past, I've worked out inconsistently if I didn't gain weight. But since I want to make a lifestyle change and I want to commit to improving my dance skills, I need to challenge myself so that I stay interested.

Over the coming months, I plan on writing periodic posts about my weight loss journey. I will recap the wave of emotions about my body after giving birth as well as the journey to self-acceptance.

My goal is to lose 1-2 lbs. each week. Hopefully, I'll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight by my birthday on July 24th. Can you say pole party?! At the latest, I want to complete my slim down by September. Losing weight is hard work. I'd rather lose it quickly and just worry about maintaining it...which is much easier.

Is anyone else embarking on a weight loss journey? Anyone have any tips?

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New Mom Beauty Routine

2011-06-08T17:28:00.002-04:00

You're looking at it!

Hair, dry as the sahara desert...check

Pizza face...check

Dreadful eyebrows...check

Spit-up adorned clothes...check

Baby fat...check

At least I can laugh about it. And I promise I put myself together when I go in public. But honestly, I find pockets of me time whenever I can. Yesterday, I did a bentonite clay treatment on my face. I exercise at least 20 minutes a day. When daddy gets home, I'm taking a long shower and washing this hair of mine. And on Friday, these eyebrows are getting threaded. (Your days are numbered.)

Tomorrow, I'll let you know the results of my fitness assessment. I'm basically fit and recovering well from my pregnancy a.k.a. I need to get a grip and be patient.

Now back to baby. She is suffering from hold me syndrome. If you have a cure, please let me know. Le sigh. How do you find time to take care of YOU?

Body After Baby

2011-06-06T15:08:00.003-04:00

I stood in front of the mirror...turned sideways...sucked in my stomach... did a 360 and frowned. My hubby walked up to me, baby in hand, put her up to my belly, and said, " You have to remember. She was inside of you for nine months. It is going to take some time to lose the weight."

It has taken over six weeks for me to be comfortable enough with my body to write this post. People kept telling me that I already looked great, but it provided little solace. All I could see was the acne on my face, the stretch marks on my belly, my fallen booty (Phaedra from RHOA was right! I swear I asked for a bigger booty not a sunken one), and the number on the scale.

I started light (but inconsistent) workouts during my 5th week. At the end of last week, I hit full throttle. Over an hour each day and I'm already feeling better. So far, my workout of choice is the NYC Ballet Workout DVD...since I am trying to get back in dance shape. Soreness and tightening muscles never felt so good. I plan on adding pilates, yoga, hip-hop class, and zumba with family. By fall, I plan on taking ballet.

Over the next few months, I plan on chronicling my get fit journey. I hope others can relate as they consider motherhood, lose baby weight, lose weight in general, or try to pursue a healthier lifestyle. Please feel free to post questions and tips!

Step One: Fitness assessment tomorrow! They test body fat, bmi, cardio, flexibility, and various strength measures. I plan on using it to set my fitness goals. This is especially important since I'm not only trying to lose weight, but also trying to attain a dancer's build.

In the meantime, here are some pics from Memorial Day Weekend...

My twists didn't dry before I took them down...so they were frizzy :-(

My fashionable lil sis!

Top: Forever 21

Shorts: Express

Sandals: Steve Madden

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formspring.me

2011-06-05T00:38:00.001-04:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chronicles

So you want to go natural...

2011-06-03T13:31:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago, I was approached for the first time with questions about transitioning to natural hair! Coincidentally, it was my sister's friend from high school. I provided some basics and directed her to natural hair sites such as Curly Nikki and BGLH and youtube videos.

Thinking back to my own transition, I remember feeling overwhelmed by all of the information. I bought products unsure of how they would work on my hair. And I found myself confused by conflicting ideologies of bloggers and vloggers. That's when I really started to think. What is some of the basic information and specific resources you would provide to a transitioner or new natural? It doesn't have to all inclusive...just a springboard to get them started.

This is where I need your help.

If your hair is "natural", are there any specific blog posts or videos that you think would be particularly helpful? If you are a transitioner or new natural, what information would you find helpful?

In the meantime, learn more about my hair journey.

And here are some pics...

She wanted to be held upright.

The last time I wore this dress I was only about 5 weeks pregnant. I had just found out and revealed it to some of my closest friends that day.

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Focus on Underachievement

2011-06-02T10:12:00.003-04:00

It may seem counterintuitive, but that is exactly what I want to do. Focus on underachievement. Confused? Let me explain.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a bonafide overachiever. My life has been defined by awards, achievements, and degrees. You would think I'd learn my lesson. But time and time again, I have to remind myself that there is more to life. While I've been nurturing my career and educational goals, I've neglected my personal goals, interests, and talents. And while I'm on maternity leave, I'm taking the time to reprioritize.

For so long, I thought I wanted titles. Vice Provost sounded so great rolling off my tongue.
But I've learned that I'd rather be a Director or Assistant Dean if that means that I could have continued interaction with students. I'd much rather be an expert in my field. Speak at conferences. Become an adjunct professor. Write a book. And most important of all... be a mom.

For so long, I wanted degrees. And I still do. I'm a nerd at heart. A lover of learning. But I'm ok with taking my time now. To pursue my education, I've neglected my passion for dance and my creative side. I've done it for too long. At first, I was upset when I found out that admissions to my Doctoral program of interest were suspended until 2013. But now I realize that God was telling me to take time for me and my family.

And now, I truly realize that there is so much more to life. Motherhood has brought on a whole new world of motivation, reflection, and confidence that I never imagined possible.

I want to nurture my talents.

I want to read books. Lots of books. I want to soak in various writing styles and get reacquainted with my love for writing. I started this blog to rekindle my love, but this is just beginning.

I want to grow and develop as a dancer. I've been stagnant for too long. I haven't trained consistently since college and it shows. Words cannot express how much I love to dance and it's about time that I set aside the time and money to quench this love.

I want to be the best mom and wife that I could possibly be. Not a perfect one. Not the best one. Just my best.

Do you plan on underachieving? If so, what are your underachievement goals?

Related Posts

Do what you love, love what you do (Part 1 and 2)

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Baby + Shower = Baby Shower?

2011-05-31T15:05:00.005-04:00

I can't believe it has already been a week since my last post! Last week was rough and by the looks of today....this week will be rough too. C'est la vie. I was watching a Mother's Day special on OWN where Hillary Clinton said (in reference to when Chelsea was a newborn), "I've never been a mom before and you've never been a baby so we're just going to have to figure this out together."

And that's what we're doing.

I have been brainstorming posts and taking pics so whenever I get a chance I'll post them. Bear with us.

In the meantime, here are some long overdue pics of the Baby Shower or "Baby Shower Sip'n See" as Nadette calls it. (She got that from RHOA). Thanks for the pics!

Baby got belly...

Psyched I could fit into a pre-pregnancy dress one week after baby. Still looked bloated with lots of weight to lose...but baby steps.

Awww...

Alihah...always fashionable. I just don't get it. She goes to H&M and finds fab pieces. I go there and come out with a headband.

The Girls!

And on that note, how about I work on those thank you cards...while she is asleep.

Please feel free to leave a comment.... so I feel like I've made some adult contact today :-)

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Me and Mariah...

2011-05-24T15:30:00.000-04:00

go back like babies and pacifiers.

( I feel so sorry for our child. Everybody sings that song when we tell them her name...lol)

Without further ado...the long awaited newborn pictures!!!

(I'm so glad I put my hair in twists for the week)

Thanks to Hil and Joe for the pics! She was so happy to be the first of my friends to see baby Mariah.

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The Finish Line (A Baby Story: Part 3)

2011-05-20T13:37:00.002-04:00

Read Part 1 and Part 2

I was finally upstairs. It took long enough! My sense of time was off, but it had to be almost two hours of waiting. And you know the first question I asked was, " Can I have my epidural now?" The nurse told me that I had to have an IV for 15 minutes first. (And while we are on the topic of IVs. If you ever wonder why mom and baby look swollen after birth. IV fluid is the culprit.) She checked me. I was still four centimeters dilated.

Fifteen minutes labor it was time for my epidural. Ahhhhhh! The anesthesiologist numbed my back. My hubby braced me from the front. The needle started to go in. I flinched. They both were alarmed, "You can't move!"

My response, "I felt that!" I was numbed some more. "Wait, I'm having another contraction." Had contraction. "Ok. I'm ready" The second time around everything went fine. (If you are wondering. I was not the least bit concerned about the needle. Getting the IV was worse.) Then came the chills. Why am I shivering?! The nurse told me they were normal. They subsided within 15 minutes. (FYI: I got the chills again when they removed the catheter after labor as well.)

And it was all easy breezy from there folks. My mom-in-law, sis-in-law, mom, and sis joined me after the epidural. (My sister later had to leave due to the four person limit.) I explained my birth plan to the nurses. Gave them copies. ( I had about 5 copies.) I found the tv/internet and distracted myself. I checked out facebook. And no, I did not announce my birth. I felt that those closest to me should have the honor of knowing first. I then checked my work e-mail. I forwarded some e-mails. And the pomp'n circumstance... I posted my extended out of office message. Ahhhh! That felt good.

An epidural is one helluva drug. I was chilling. Laughing. The only bad side effect is that you can't really feel your legs. They felt like dead weight. I had to move them with my arms. I could still feel the pressure of contractions, but no pain. I also watched them on the monitor, which was very helpful when it was time to push.

And while we are on that topic. At midnight, the nurse came to check me. Everyone started to guess how far I had progressed. (Remember, my water broke around 6 p.m.) My sis-in-law guessed, "I think 7 centimeters." The nurse replied, "Not quite. She is actually nine centimeters." (For the record, I was in a bit of shock at how quickly my labor was progressing.) It was about then I lost track of time. Somewhere between noon and 1 p.m. I started to push.

The nurse asked, "Have you taken a labor and delivery course?"

I replied, "No, I took prenatal yoga and watched shows like 'One Born Every Minute' though." The nurse taught me how to breath. I took a deep breath, held it, and pushed. For each contraction, I pushed three times for about 8 seconds each. My coaches (my sis-in-law and hubby) helped. I even coached myself at times when I felt (and/or saw a contraction on the monitor) and pushed through them. The doctor said, "You're doing great! You don't need any help do you?" (For the record, please note that nurses are there for you throughout the labor. Doctors only show up for the finale.)

Her head started to show. The doctor said, "She has a lot of hair." He proceeded to touch her hair. Eww. They asked me if I wanted to look in the mirror. Ewww! No! But since I figured I might regret the decision I said, "Ok. Really quickly." I looked. "Ok. That's enough. Please take the mirror away." For a while her head would pop out and then she would slide back in. Grrr.

Finally, I'd had enough. I took a break. I took some deep calming breaths. (I learned that from prenatal yoga and pilates. FYI: Yoga, pilates, and exercise are your best resource for getting through labor. You mainly need strength and stamina to do well in labor.) I said a really good, long prayer. I prayed for strength. I prayed for her health and mine. I prayed that this would be my last set of pushes.

I felt pressure. I saw the contraction on the screen. I took a deep breath and I pushed. She plopped onto the table. The doctor said that if he wasn't there to catch her, she would have flown across the room. She cried. It felt surreal.

Hubby cut the cord. They laid her on my chest. They delivered my placenta. Sewed me up. (I tore. I didn't even feel it.) And then they took her to the other side of the room for her screening.

Mariah
April 20, 2011 1:38 a.m.
6 lbs. 5.56 oz.
19 inches

How's that for a sprint?

(More pics tomorrow. They are on the other computer. I'm working on her time and she is about to have a conniption.)

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The Waiting Game (A Baby Story : Part 2)

2011-05-19T15:26:00.001-04:00

Check out Part 1

As I was walked back to my office, I saw my husband walking toward me.

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" he asked.

"I left it in my office. I needed to get a towel. See!" I pointed to my pants that were soaking wet.

We gathered my things and headed to his car. But before he would let me sit down, he got his work jacket so that I wouldn't get his seat wet. Really?! I gave him the sideeye.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. We checked in at the front desk. They gave me a "wet pad" for my seat and we walked to the maternity triage waiting room. (This was all too familiar since I had been there two weeks prior.) And there we waited along with a few other pregnant women. One woman looked like she was having serious contractions, but she was waiting there too. This is not like on TV. I thought when I checked in someone would bring me a wheelchair or something. Boy was I wrong.

So we waited. Finally, about 20 minutes later they called me back for screening. They checked my blood pressure. It was fine. They asked me the usual intake questions. Then they sent me back to the front to complete my admissions paperwork. Since my water broke, they were going to admit me. I already knew that! So the hubby and I walked to the front picked up another wet pad and waited to be called. We completed the admission paperwork and then they sent us back to the waiting room. Oh, did you think they were going to send me upstairs? Nope. Remember the post is entitled, "The Waiting Game". So we waited.

My mom snuck back to the maternity triage waiting room. (I was only allowed one visitor while downstairs.) My contractions started to get more intense and closer together. I breathed through them. And we waited. Apparently, everyone was having babies or thought they were having babies. There were no beds. I gushed again... and again. How much fluid is in there?! I'm so uncomfortable. I just want to change out of these wet clothes. At this point, the black jeggings (See second outfit. Imagine me a lot bigger) I wore were glistening. That is how wet they were. About an hour had passed. I was still not admitted. I was LIVID.

They finally called me back to a bed in the triage area where I.....wait for it.... waited for a bed upstairs. The nurse checked me. I was already four centimeters dilated. They hooked me up to the monitors. My contractions got even more intense. I made a few work phone calls to touch base with my co-workers. (I only had a major event with over 4,000 attendees the following week.) But the phone calls had to stop as my contractions intensified. They hurt more when I laid down so I sat up. That didn't do the trick so I straddled the bed. My feet hung under the curtain of the adjacent patient. My neighbor debated whether they would send her back home. And then she commented, " She is definitely in labor." She was talking about me.

I really wanted an epidural at this point. But I couldn't get one until I went upstairs. And there were no beds. So I waited... in pain. I know some people feel that natural labor is beautiful. Well, that's NOT me. I used to suffer from painful cramps. The kind of pains that had me screaming, in tears, saying prayers, and one time in an ambulance. Been there. Done that. I wanted my drugs. Now.

"I want to go to sit on the toilet." What they say is right. I don't know why, but sitting on a toilet eases contractions. I hung over my husband as I sat. Finally, transport arrived. Thank God.

Part 3 and pics will be posted later today. Sorry. Babygirl was fussy and needed a lot of attention today. I'm trying to get my stream of consciousness out whenever she lets me.

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"I have a feeling that she's coming today..." (A Baby Story: Part 1)

2011-05-18T17:30:00.000-04:00

It was Tuesday, April 19th. My hubby and I were talking during our daily midday phone call.  Why would my hubby would say such a thing when I wasn't due until May 12th? Well, we had known for a while that I would go into early labor. In fact, for two weeks I had been walking around a centimeter dilated (no big deal) and fully effaced (big deal). Every day my husband would ask jokingly, "Are you ready to go to the hospital?" But that day was different. Instead he said, " I have a feeling that she's coming today."

Fast forward to approximately 3 p.m. I started to feel contractions. I walked from my office to the main office to sit with my co-worker. ( I didn't want to be by myself. ) I sat and breathed. They were coming about 5 minutes apart. But I always feel contractions. I'm just overreacting. This is another false alarm. I returned to my office. They either subsided or I ignored them. I proceeded to work on my numerous projects. Not knowing when I would go into labor was nerve wracking. I have to tie up as many loose ends as possible. I decided to stay late to get as much work done as I possibly could.

It was approaching 6 p.m. when I suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion. I leaned back in my chair and GUSH.  Did my water just break or did I just pee on myself?! No, I couldn't be in labor. I went to the bathroom to pee. I peed. Then another GUSH. Ok. I'm definitely in labor. I walked back to my office and called my doctor's after hours line. They told me the doctor on duty would return my call. I proceeded to call my mom, my hubby, and my sister. My mom said she would meet me at the hospital. My hubby had just gotten home so he would pick me up with my hospital bag. My sister would meet me at my office since I work at her college.

The doctor returned my phone call. He asked, "How do you know you are in labor?"

I replied, "Well I was sitting here and I felt water gushing. Then I went to the bathroom and I gushed again. And as I am talking to you, I'm gushing AGAIN."

The doctor responded, "Sounds like you are in labor." Duh. "Clean yourself up, change your clothes, and then head to the hospital." Right... I'm at work. Great.

What now? ( I was suprised by my calm temperament.)

I started to organize my desk based upon my various projects so that my co-workers could pick up where I left off. (I knew I would not be back the next day. Once your water breaks, you MUST have the baby due to risk of infection.) I packed up my laptop and packed my work bag.

My sister arrived.  I asked her to walk down the hall with me to our work closet. I was soaking wet and uncomfortable. I decided to get one of the beach towels that we award our seniors. In our common area, one of my students asked jokingly, "Hi Latoya! Have that baby yet?" Boy was he suprised by my answer.

"Actually I'm in labor right now. My water just broke."

STAY TUNED FOR PICS AND PART 2 TOMORROW

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Ready for my closeup?

2011-05-16T13:25:00.001-04:00

Here is a close-up of my curls. I did a mobile upload for my anniversary post and I was too lazy to figure out how to combine the pics into one post. Check out the definition!

And lets address the obvious, shall we? My once flawless skin is suffering from latent effects of pregnancy acne and post-partum acne. I plan on doing a follow-up to show how I'm combating this new skin problem. (It's starting to clear up... thank goodness).

No Lye Anniversary!

2011-05-16T13:20:00.002-04:00

In the midst of all the baby hoopla, I forgot to celebrate my one year no lye anniversary. Last year, on April 26, 2010, I cut my hair into a Rihanna cut. I later decided that I was over relaxers and it was inadvertently was my last.

My new easy breezy hairstyle is to rock twists for a few days and then rock a twist-out. In the coming weeks, I'll have to do some product reviews and regimen updates. I don't try new products often, but I have tons of products that I have used over an extended period of time. I can provide some detailed reviews for those products.

The biggest lesson(s), I've learned over the last year is:

Keep it simple and if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Want to learn more about my hair journey? Do you have any specific hair questions you would like me to answer?